Fangboner Farms

Trying To Ensure My Good Karma - And Not Get Killed By the Giant Grasshopper

It's harvest time, big time, out at the farm.  Every day we're working on getting our last picks of herbs done and getting them hung, pulling off the leaves and flowers from the dried bunches, then grinding them for our blends. Lots of work, lots of cuts on my fingers and lots of bugs. And bugs are my favorite things. Not.

Saturday morning I had just cut another huge bunch of chives to dry.  I brought them in my picking basket into the kitchen to wash before drying.  I reached into the basket and felt something crawl on me.  I jumped, said a not so nice word (if you know me, you know I do that occasionally) and saw the biggest Daddy Long Legs spider I've ever seen.  

I admit it.  I am a total wimp about bugs, spiders especially.  Oh and centipedes too.  And anything that crunches when you step on it. But Daddy Long Legs aren't as scary so I picked him up with a paper towel, took him out and released him back into the wilds of the farm.

I was so proud of myself. I handled a spider and didn't cry.

I went back to washing the chives.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move but didn't really see anything.  As I continued working suddenly the biggest (insert bad word here) grasshopper I have ever seen jumped at me. I swear it was at least 2 inches long, although at that moment he looked 2 feet long. Of course I screamed, Jack barked and my cat Elliott Stabler (yes, he is named after the character on "Law & Order SVU" but that is another long story) came running to my rescue. That grasshopper jumped into the sink, into the other sink, then back on the counter.  I couldn't kill him - isn't killing a grasshopper a sin and would mess up my karma for many lifetimes?  Aren't they suppossed to be really good luck?

I grabbed a plastic grocery bag and scooped him into it. I could feel him jumping around and started running to the back door, sure he would escape and somehow kill me. I dropped the bag as I got to the door because I was so scared and Elliott Stabler pounced.

So there I was, trying to catch this huge jumping grasshopper, while keeping my hunter cat from getting him and trying to get past Jack. Somehow, I got the bag over him, Elliott Stabler off of the bag and picked it up.  I ran to the door and tossed the bag in the garden. Then screamed because I was sure he was going to chase me back into the house.

Who knew there was such drama in drying herbs?  

But I think my karma is safe - at least for now.

Leave a comment