Fangboner Farms

Not Quite Mud Wrestling But Close

If you live in the city, you probably have never noticed how much concrete is around you. Sidewalks, driveways and walkways are all around. For the most part, mud is just an inconvenient aspect of your backyard. I took sidewalks and driveways for granted.

Well it's a bit different at the farm. We have some gravel in our driveway but for the most part it is dirt.  One of our projects for Spring is to re-gravel.  But the wonderful rains of the last couple of days have created a new sport at the farm - how to get to the car, open the gate and get to work in a suit and heels without wearing the farm to work.

This morning was almost a full contact sport with the ground before I left.  I went out the front door and down the sidewalk.  It's all good.  Then I stepped onto the driveway and sank. It threw my balance off, and if you know me, balance is not something I'm good at. I lifted my foot to take another step and left my high heel in the mud, thus losing my balance and stepping into the mud with my foot. And sinking.  And getting mud on my suit pants.

So I stood there, said a few choice words and lifted my foot and attempted to hop on my other foot to the car.  Just picture for a minute, if you will, a woman carrying a purse and files, holding her pant legs up, attempting to hop to the car on one foot as she sinks further into the mud with each hop. Yeah, it wasn't pretty.  And neither was my suit.

So I gave up.  I just stepped in the mud, turned around and came back into the house. I changed my suit, my knee highs, and put on an old pair of boots.  I carried another pair of heels, walked out to the car in the mud and got in it to go to work.

We have gates at the end of our driveways.  I had to get out of the car and  walk through more mud to unhook it. No problem, I was prepared in my old boots.  But I forgot about the hole on the one side of the drive, stepped into it and dropped my suit pants I was holding up, right into the mud.

I decided at that point, a little mud on my pants wouldn't be noticeable if I kept talking to people so they looked at my face and not my feet, right?  Sounded good in theory anyway.  It was noticed.

So what lessons did I learn today?  Always wear boots. Hopping on one foot never works. People do look at your feet.  And get that driveway re-graveled ASAP.

There is an upside though.  When I was 5, I sold bags of dirt to the neighbor ladies as Magic Beauty Mud for a nickle.  And they bought them.  I could have a whole new beauty empire right out in my driveway.  Magic Beauty Mud anyone?  I can cut you a great deal.

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