Obviously you all know that a name is very important to me. I still think Fangboner Farms is one of the coolest names ever. It's memorable and just plain fun to say. So now you can all help me on my next name game that is stumping me.
I've come up with a new product. Well new to me and totally ripped off from something I saw. I was randomly going through TV stations one night and saw something on QVC that made me stop and watch. It was for a Poop Spray. Yup, what you thought you read - a Poop Spray. If you're squeamish or think discussing poop and toilets in a blog is stupid, sorry. But hey, if I can find another way to make money with another fine quality Fangboner Farms product, I'm in.
It's actually a good idea - for those that have issues with causing unpleasant smells in the bathroom - which of course is not me. You take this product and spray it into the toilet before you do what you need to do (you know, what bears do in the woods, or what every deer in a 5 county region likes to do in our fields). It is made up of essential oils and creates basically a film over the top of the water. Then when nature takes its course, the potentially unpleasant smell is "trapped" below the film of essential oils.
Yeah, sure. But son-of-a-gun, it really works. I had made up my own using some of my essential oils. I put it in a spray bottle, used about 4 sprays, and seriously, it worked. But I decided it needed the true test. The Roland test. It took a couple trials and we decided (oh the things I do to test market a new product) that Roland is definitely a 10-12 sprayer. But seriously, it worked.
It doesn't use another odor to mask it (please explain to me why people use food smell sprays, like sugar cookies or cakes, to cover up poop smell) but rather just leaves the bathroom smelling fresh. So I'm going to make some for sale through Fangboner.
Which leads me to my problem which you can help me solve. What do I name it? I am stuck. I don't want anything with "poop" in it - that's dumb, or should I say just crappy. My sister Carol, who rarely ever swears and when I swear (rather frequently) manages to "Tsk Tsk" in that wonderful Irish Catholic guilt way, suggested a name and I can't get it out of my head - "S#!t Shield". It cracked me up and she'll kill me for putting it in here - and frankly it is a cool name - but not one I can use.
So here's your big incentive and prize for coming up with the winning name - I'll give you a $25 gift basket of Fangboner Farms products - as well as your own bottle of poop spray. Just make sure to read the fine print* (hey I work for attorneys) and send me a suggestion in the comment section or email me at email@example.com Come on, what a legacy! *Just because you give us a great name doesn't mean you own it and you knowingly and with all of your faculties intact, realize that I ain't gonna give you any money for the name. I'm going to use it, acknowledge that you gave it to us, but you don't own the name, the product or any of Fangboner Farms. You can't try to out BS the BSer. Just saying.